This is a recurring problem. I put my headphones in to drift to sleep at night while listening to podcasts. Usually I can fall asleep pretty quickly if the podcasts aren’t making me laugh too hard. I enjoy the Roosterteeth podcast, all of the Nerdy Show shows, and a couple of audio dramas that update every month or two.
Last night I was listening to my ipod and, while drifting in and out of sleep, kept hearing music on one of the Nerdy Show episodes, various chiptune covers of things, remixes, and some other stuff. I then promptly had a dream that Wreck it Ralph was fighting off a bar full of Italian mobsters and ninjas with his giant hands.
I don’t even know where to begin with that. Can I even Photoshop something that insane? I really don’t think that I can.
So for the last three or four weeks, I’ve come to the growing suspicion that my latent mutant ability (did you know that being left-handed is a mutation? Because being left-handed is totally a mutation) has finally begun to surface. The mutant power? The ability to break every single zipper I touch.
Seriously. Wait, where are you going? Sit back down.
In the last three weeks I’ve broken no less than four zippers. I broke the main zipper on my Bag of Holding (R.I.P., Bag of Holding; you held all my stuff,) I broke two zippers on my wife’s duffel bags, and finally I broke the zipper on my lunchbox, all without even doing anything out of the ordinary. One second, working zipper, next second, zipper hopelessly broken.
I imagine that somewhere, in the dim distant future, there will be a roving band of survivors led by Mel Gibson who are trying desperately to escape from a one-eyed warlord’s stronghold, only to come across the final barrier: a chain-link fence made entirely of zippers. The plucky young kids will look to Mel Gibson and he’ll run his hand (and his other chainsaw hand) through his graying hair in desperation. Just as all seems lost, the grizzled old man that has tagged along with them and improbably not been killed during the entire adventure will shuffle his way forward, his beard foaming over his sunken chest like dirty dishwater.
“Wait,” he’ll croak in an ancient, trembling voice, “I think I can help.”
As everyone watches, wide-eyed, the old man lifts a palsied hand and touches the fence, which immediately is reduced to its constituent atoms and falls to radioactive dust, blowing away in the wind. Mel Gibson’s eyes widen even farther, like they did in Mad Max when he saw his busted-up buddy (but seriously, that bug-eyed thing was creepy, am I right?) and he’ll look at me and say, “You’re the Gormally, aren’t you?”
But my powers, having burned themselves out in that brilliant flare, have drained me, too, and I smile once before turning to ash and drifting away.
Mel Gibson and the children escape while the one-eyed warlord’s pants fall around his ankles, preventing him from continuing his chase of the heroes. “What the hell?” he yells in fury, “What just happened to my zipper?!”
So earlier today I announced the end of The White Skull comic series and I’ve since removed the entire archive from the Site. While that bums me out and is going to continue to bum me out for some time, I’m already committed to moving forward. I think it’s the silliest thing in the world to let a setback, no matter how major or minor, break you.
To that end, I’m formally announcing an original series based (loosely) off of the concepts from The White Skull. Here’s the problem with the original comic: it was based around real-life people, and when those real-life people started taking potshots at each other, suddenly I was in the delicate spot of “Um, please don’t try to make me write things into the comic; this isn’t a political platform for your arguments.”
When that didn’t work and people continually sent me private messages about how I should do this or do that or exclude this person or include that person, blah blah blah blahblahblahBLAH, the fun factor of writing and drawing a comic went the heck away. Quickly.
The White Skull DOES belong to me. I don’t want to use him anymore because I have a sour taste in my mouth over the whole thing, but I DID create some original characters that I’ve quickly fallen in love with. Namely, The Pirate, The Alien, and The Robot. I haven’t figured out their names yet. Yeah, yeah, I know, shoddy writing. I wasn’t expecting them to survive past the current issue, originally.
I’m re-launching, casting out into the wide ocean of weird that is TEH INTERNETS, and announcing a new ongoing series starring these three miscreants, who I may even decide to name at some point.
Think less villain and more Doctor Who. Zany adventures in space and time.
Geronimo and whatnot.