Giving up for Lent: A Caveman Tale.

So, every year for Lent I try to give something up.  A few years back I gave up drinking soda, since it’s crap.  I made it through the forty days and nights easily, and now I mainly drink tea and lemonade.  Every now and again, the craving for a good rootbeer or Dr. Pepper still strikes, but for the most part I’ve been a tea drinker since then.

This year I figured I’d try something a bit more unorthodox (or more orthodox, depending on your particular spin on things:) not shaving for forty days and forty nights.
Let me ‘splain.

I’m not a Catholic, but I do believe that there is merit in participating in Lent; specifically, giving up something you like that’s keeping you less centered on the things that matter, such as your spirituality, your passions, or the important things in your life.  One of these years I’ll give up the Internet for Lent, but that day is not today.

(I imagine I’ll go into Facebook withdrawal after the first three hours and start chewing the paint off the walls.  What up.)

Anyway, I’ve always been rather proud of the way I look; I shine up nice and spiffy when I shave and keep my hair trimmed.  (Yes, I am stuck on myself.  I can’t help it; God made me pretty.)
This year I decided that, for Lent, I’d give up shaving so that I could learn a bit of humility about my appearance.  Of course, this is not without its caveats; I will trim my beard when the wild and crazy hairs start growing out too long; I’m not trying to look like a crazy hobo or anything.  (Apologies to the crazy hobos in my reading audience.  Also: you go with yo bad selves, crazy hobos.  You tell that street light what’s what!)

So far, I’ve gone unshaven for seven days, one complete week at this point.  Since I’m of mainly Irish and German descent, this of course means I’ve sprouted light blonde hair in intermittent, random patches all across my face.
I don’t think I’ve ever been quite this itchy in my entire life.

And I have thirty-three more days and night of this to look forward to.

So now my question to you, dear readers: What’s your tip for proper beard maintenance?  I understand that every beard must first go through an awkward ‘mullet’ phase, where it’s not a beard, not yet a woman, so what are your tips and advice for nursing it through these hellish next couple of weeks?  I’ll be updating the progress of my Lent every week, with plenty of photos on the horrendous progress this itchy chin-alien is making on taking over my face.

What up.


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